If you’re reading this because you’ve booked your first session, thank you for choosing to work with me and I hope you find this helpful.

If you’re here because starting therapy feels daunting and you’d like to know what to expect; well done for taking the time to do so, it’s a perfect example of self-care.

Whether you’ve had any form of therapy before or not, it can feel daunting starting something new and to help ease you in and set you up for success, I’ve put together some information and ideas that you might find useful.

What to expect

Our first session is a little different to the ones that follow, this session is where we talk about how we’ll work together. Most of this you’ll find in my contract, but when we get started you might find you’d like clarification about certain things, like how therapy works. The order we do things might be different to the order in this document and we might spend more time on one thing than another.

It needs to be a joint decision to continue your therapy with me beyond this session. I usually suggest, unless you both seem very sure when we meet, that you take time to decide together before booking further sessions. I can let you know how to do this and how this will work when we meet.

In our first session I’m getting to know you both and trying to understand the dynamics in your relationship, so I’m unlikely to be as directive as I might be in future sessions. Its helpful for me to experience you as you are, before we begin to think about what changes you want to make.

Online Sessions

I use Zoom as my standard way of meeting online, its ideal if you can be in the same space when we meet. This gives me more information about how you interact with each other which means I can be of more use to you. Please let me know if this isn’t possible and we can make time to discuss how we’ll manage this at the start of the session.

Try to arrive in the virtual waiting room a couple of minutes before we’re due to meet so you have time to set up the camera to make sure you’re both visible on screen. You can also make sure your mic and speakers are working the way you want them to.

In person

When you arrive take a seat in the waiting room, there is usually someone on the front desk if you need anything. I’ll come down to get you at the time of your session and there will be tissues and water available in the room. You’re welcome to bring your own drink too there are plenty of wonderful independent coffee shops in the highstreet. There are toilets on both floors, please make sure you’re comfortable before we begin.

Logistics and Confidentiality

Usually at the start we’ll go over the logistics, like what to do if you’re running late, or need to reschedule. If we’re meeting online we’ll also discuss options for if technology lets us down and how we’ll navigate this together.

We’ll cover in more detail what is and isn’t covered by confidentiality and my specific thresholds as every practitioner will be slightly different. My personal level of risk is based on what I feel equipped to support you with and what I feel we can contain safely in our sessions.

History Taking

Part of me being able to help you is getting an understanding of your life, what is working well and what’s not. This might include us covering things like your childhood family, how you met and pivotal moments in your relationship. This helps me begin to understand what its like to be you in your relationship, so I can personalise the way I support you.

If you’ve had any therapy before I might ask you what worked well and what you’d like to be different about our time together. If you haven’t had counselling, we might spend time reflecting on what made this feel like the right time and clarify anything that you might not feel sure about.

The Reason You’re Here

This is usually the part we spend the longest on because it’s the whole point of you being here. Both of you will get a chance to speak about what life has been like and where it is and isn’t working. We’ll also take some time to think about ways that you each think things can improve and hopefully identify a common goal, this might be something like improving the way you communicate to reduce conflict, or find a way to feel more connected and intimate with one another.

The Summary

Towards the end of our session, I’ll reflect back the key points we’ve covered and my thoughts about how I can support you. If any questions or concerns have come up for you during the session we can make space to try and work these through too.

Before we meet

Below I’ve included a few questions you might want to ponder before we meet, these can help you have a clearer idea of what you’d like to gain from coming to therapy and how you’d like me to help with that. If you want to you can print this out and bring these with you when we meet, or just spend some time contemplating the questions.

What do you hope to accomplish through counselling? 

What have you tried so far to cope with the challenges in your relationship? 

What are your biggest strengths as a couple? 

Can you think of at least one thing you personally could do to improve the relationship despite your partners actions?

If you could wave a magic wand and make everything perfect, what’s the first thing you’d notice that would be different?

 

If you’re all booked in and ready to go, I look forward to our first session.

If you’re still unsure about getting started, you’re welcome to reach out to me and ask any questions you might have with no strings attached.

Either way thank you for taking the time to read this post and I hope you find something helpful to take away from it.