For as long as I’ve been a counsellor anxiety has been the highest searched term on counselling directories. So many of us are struggling with anxiety it’s a pandemic in its own right, but why are we fighting with it and what can we do about it?

What is anxiety?

Before I share with you ways that you can start to manage your anxiety i thought it might be helpful to tell you a little bit more about why we have it in the first place.

Anxiety is like a smoke alarm, there could be a fire but it could also be that the kettle didn’t turn off again and the room is filled with steam – annoying but not dangerous. Anxiety is just one piece of a larger process that’s intended to keep us safe and alive. What is supposed to happen after you feel anxious is that we either identify a threat and respond to it by fighting, fleeing (run away), fawning (camouflage) or freezing (play dead) then once the threat is dealt with our body calms back down and we can carry on as we normal because its dealt with. If there is no threat our body is supposed to calm back down and carry on as usual. This system was really helpful when we were hunter gatherers trying to avoid animals that want to eat us or enemies that want what we have. But nowadays threats generally speaking aren’t quite as cut and dry.

Anxiety becomes a problem when your body isn’t able to clearly determine a threat has gone or isn’t present, so it keeps sounding the alarm even when there isn’t any danger to your life. Another reason may be that your experiences have resulted in your unconscious experiencing things that are safe as a threat, like when you’re standing it the school gate, or on your way to visit your parents for the weekend.

What does it feel like?

 

Anxiety comes with a whole host of sensations and thoughts, it can include:

• Tightness in your stomach
• Tension in your neck and shoulders
• Sweaty palms
• Racing heart
• Tension in your jaw/forehead
• Sickness/nausea
• Dizziness/lightheaded
• Intrusive thoughts – that something bad is going to happen
• Unwanted images
• Feeling like you’re on high alert
• Irritability

That’s just a few of the signs that you might be experiencing anxiety.

 

When is anxiety a problem?

 

Quite simply, if anxiety is preventing you from doing things and limiting your quality of life, it’s a problem.

 

Is medication the answer?

For a lot of people medication helps them to reclaim their life again but it can also come with side effects. It’s a very individual decision as to whether the side effects are easier to live with than anxiety.

Its always worth discussing with your doctor any concerns, what the best medication for you is and how to take it safely.

 

If you already take medication and are contemplating stopping, always make sure that you work with your GP to reduce your medication slowly to prevent adverse effects.

 

Other Ways of Managing Anxiety

Medication isn’t for everyone but that doesn’t mean there's no hope!

A lot of anxiety treatment like CBT is focused on changing the way you think and this can definitely be a good start. Learning to rationalise your thoughts with check in questions like:

• Is this something that might happen or something that will definitely happen?
• Has it happened before?
• What is the likelihood of it happening now?

 

Create a mantra to recite when anxiety strikes, you can borrow mine if you like:

I am standing [name location] in my living room. I am safe. Feelings change and this one will pass.

 

Learn to communicate safety to your body, there are lots of different ways to do this like:

 

• Deep breathing – Slow deep breathing making sure to breath in through your nose and making your exhale longer than your inhale mimics your body’s way of breathing when you’re calm and safe and it’s a great way to let your nervous system know it can relax.

 

• 54321 is a mindfulness technique that engages your senses and brings you back into the here and now. Take a moment to stop and notice:

5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

I always suggest keeping some tasty sweets and something with a smell that reminds you of something calming, like coconut hand cream that reminds you of lounging on the beach with a cocktail. I like the smell of oranges and keep an aromatherapy oil close by along with some chocolate buttons.

 

There is always counselling

When you’re struggling with anxiety it can be easy to hide away from the things that scare you and many of us will do almost anything to avoid feeling anxious. When we decide not to live like this any more and choose to take back control of our lives, its easy to want to launch yourself forward in hopes of avoiding the discomfort of the journey. This almost always results in anxiety increasing, taking small manageable steps is the best way forward. Slow is fast when managing anxiety and counselling can help you find the right pace to get back in control of your life.

If you’re struggling with anxiety and ready for this to change contact me now and lets get started with reclaiming your life.