Couples Counselling – What to Expect in Your First Session

Starting something new can stir up a variety of thoughts and feelings, some comfortable ones and some not so comfortable ones. Before we get started here’s a little more about a first session with me.

Booking

Once you’ve booked your session, done the forms and made payment you’ll get a confirmation email from me. In this email you’ll find lots of useful information like where to park and the address. You’ll also get a link to this post in case you haven’t seen it yet.

Before our session

It can be useful to think about what you’d like to talk about both with your partner and for yourself.

You’re welcome to bring some notes of ideas, thoughts, or goals. Here are a few questions to help:

• What is going well in your relationship?
• What would you like to be different in your relationship?
• What are your personal goals for couples counselling?
• What is your shared goal for counselling?
• Do you have an idea of whether you want to work open ended or short term?

Getting to your session

With busy lives it can be easy to overlook the small things and find yourself in a rush. If you can try taking time to plan your journey, this can help you arrive feeling ready for the session. Maybe plan for a few minutes for you and your partner to have some time together before we meet if you think this would be helpful.

Arriving

When you arrive feel free to take a seat in the waiting room, you can help yourself to tea or water or bring a drink from one of the wonderful independent coffee shops in the Highstreet. There are toilets on both floors, please make sure to make yourself comfortable before we begin.

At the time of your appointment, I’ll come down and show you up to the room. Use two rooms and both are on the first floor accessible by stairs.

The Room

The room is in a quiet Holistic Centre, there are subtle smells of essential oils, and the lighting is warm with lots of natural light. The décor is neutral tones with the occasional splash of colour.

Here are a couple of pictures to help you get a feel for the space:

Room 5

Room 8

The session

Each session is a little different, I usually suggest we meet for 90 minutes for the first session. I know this doesn’t work for everyone and we can meet for 60 if preferred. If you’d like shorter or longer sessions, we can explore options for this too.

Before we start, I’ll explain how confidentiality works and a little more about the session, usually we’ll cover things like:

• Your individual history
• The history of your relationship
• What you’d like help with
• What you think the cause of your problems are
• What you think you’re both doing well
• How you’re expecting or hoping I can help

As a neuro-affirming counsellor I know we all work a little differently and need different things. If during the session either of you want to pause, move around, or need anything clarified let me know.

Before we end

I’ll offer you a summary of what I’ve heard and how I think we can guide the work. We’ll discuss whether you’d like to continue or take some time to think about it before booking another session. Usually we’ll agree a time slot and this will be your regular session time going forward. If you work shifts or have other commitments that require flexibility, I’ll offer to send you some dates after the session.

After the Session

Talking about things can stir up a lot of thoughts and feelings and I suggest protecting for some time to process after the session together or separately. This could be by:

• Taking a walk
• Journaling
• Reconnecting with a date or sharing something you both enjoy.
• Sitting in silence by yourself or together
• Going to the gym/for a run

If things have gotten heated in the session, I’ll always make sure we take some time to bring things back to a level that feels safe to end on before you go.

If you’ve booked

I’m looking forward to meeting you both and if you have any questions before we meet, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Get In Touch

If you’d like support as a couple or individually but still feeling unsure, you’re welcome to get in touch and book a free call (no strings attached), or you can get in touch and book your first session.

Wherever you are in your readiness, I hope you found something useful to take away.

Warmly

Kate